Its very existence becomes dysfunctional— the things that used to work, like crawling, suddenly don’t work anymore. And if the caterpillar was like us, it would be stressed out and desperately trying to hold it together— reading books on how to become better at caterpillaring or techniques on crawling better and faster.
That general uneasiness that’s always lingering in the background? It’s just a symptom of your forgetfulness. When you forget who you really are, you feel scared, you worry, you stay on edge, hella moody, ready to snap. You don’t even know why! You also stay trying to manipulate & rearrange the outside circumstances in hopes that you’ll feel better. But there’s only one real ‘fix.’ No matter the presenting problem, be it physical, mental or financial, there’s only one remedy- you must remember your true self BEYOND just the natural hair wearing, no shit taking, education having woman in the mirror.
Watch your thoughts and emotions carefully— as if you were watching someone else… as if you were watching a movie starring ‘you.’ Feel the loneliness, fully, allowing it to hang out. Don’t rush to do something (meditate, pray, pour a glass of wine, workout, strike a yoga pose, grab a book, a snack, your phone, etc) to suppress, remedy or ignore it. Just let the loneliness be, the way you let the couch, table and walls be. Unlike the ‘loneliness’, those objects are neutral to you, that’s why you don’t care that they are present.
You probably don’t know the ‘how’ or the ‘when,’ but you always know the ‘WHAT.’ And I’m not talking about the weight loss, the ring, or the bank account, I’m talking about the reason WHY you want that stuff… the happiness, the peace, the joy, the comfort and security you think you’re gonna have when you finally get it. But if you’ve been actually reading my posts, you already know that the only way to be happy, is to be happy, now. ‘
In addition to the actions you’re taking, be attentive to how you’re feeling inside! I love the above quote because it shows how a slight adjustment in your energy can create monumental changes. A good question to ask yourself throughout the day is ‘am I on 211 or 212?’ Feel for the answer. Then make adjustments and shift! Adjustments = stand or sit up taller, take a conscious breath, shoulders down and back, tummy unclenched, and smize a little! This is HER!
Can you relate?
Better yet, you ever lose your train of thought, and start feeling calm and peaceful, and then thoughts say, ‘I was worried about something… what was it again?’ 🤔 and then you start trying to remember what had you so bothered?! In moments like that, catch yourself and find and choose the current of Joy. Instead of asking ‘why was I feeling worried?’ ask, ‘is there Joy here?’
(1) STOP 🛑
(2) take your attention out of your head (and thoughts) and down into your stomach— notice how it rises and falls with each breath…
(3) notice that, down here, in your stomach, there are no thoughts… just space
Are you ready to commit to loving your Self, unconditionally? To being HER, your truest Self, no matter what’s going on, or how you feel? You should, because everything else, including the healthy, romantic relationship you thought this post was about, will follow.
Starting tomorrow morning, make a commitment to be present as an objective audience to your inner voice. Like, instead of being ‘the thinker’ of the thoughts, be ‘the listener’ behind them. It’s a simple but necessary shift that you’ll have to keep remembering— just keep falling back and reminding yourself to watch yourself like you’re watching a movie about someone else.